The Dark Mental Struggles Of Evangelist John Bunyan

Genesis 15:12, “And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him.” Isaiah 26:3, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” 2nd Timothy 1:7, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

I am always encouraged when I read about the humanity, struggles, sins and shortcomings of other preachers, because it reminds me that I am not alone in my own weakness and suffering. Please read the following disturbing biographical information about the famous Baptist preacher John Bunyan (1628-1688):

Conversion and ministry

Bunyan’s conversion to Puritanism was a gradual process in the years following his marriage (1650–55); it is dramatically described in his autobiography. After an initial period of Anglican conformity in which he went regularly to church, he gave up, slowly and grudgingly, his favourite recreations of dancing and bell ringing and sports on the village green and began to concentrate on his inner life. Then came agonizing temptations to spiritual despair lasting for several years. The “storms” of temptation, as he calls them, buffeted him with almost physical violence; voices urged him to blaspheme; the texts of Scriptures, which seemed to him to threaten damnation, took on personal shape and “did pinch him very sore.” 

Finally one morning he believed that he had surrendered to these voices of Satan and had betrayed Christ: “Down I fell as a bird that is shot from the tree.” In his psychopathic isolation he presents all the features of the divided mind of the maladjusted as they have been analyzed in the 20th century. ...Bunyan soon proved his talents as a lay preacher. Fresh from his own spiritual troubles, he was fitted to warn and console others: “I went myself in Chains to preach to them in Chains, and carried that Fire in my own Conscience that I persuaded them to beware of.” [emphasis added]

SOURCE: Encyclopedia Britannica, John Bunyan

John Bunyan was a human being created in the image of God! Amen. That is what I take away from the preceding information. All of God's men in the Bible were humble and saw themselves as lowly men:

Jacob - Genesis 32:10, “I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant; for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands.”

Job - Job 17:1, “My breath is corrupt, my days are extinct, the graves are ready for me.” 

David - Psalms 22:6, “But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.”

Isaiah - Isaiah 6:5, “Then said I, Woe is me!  for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.”

Peter - Luke 5:8, “When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”

Paul - 1st Timothy 1:15, “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.”

I have had fellow well-meaning believers say things to me like: “It sounds like you're down on yourself” and “You need to grow thicker skin.” My father (1933-2010) was also a Christian, who worked a career as a type-setter for the Chicago Tribune newspaper for over 30 years. Those were in the days before computers came along, when to print a newspaper, every single letter and character had to be printed by a mechanical die. Can you imagine?

We read that Abraham felt a deep horror of darkness which came upon him...

Genesis 15:12, “And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him.”

As a minister, I have received countless emails from hurting people over the past 20 years of my website ministry, telling me about their spiritual and mental struggles with demons, sinful temptations, bizarre dreams, strange experiences and blasphemous thoughts against God. I always humbly tell them that they came to the right place, because I LOVE PEOPLE and I will do everything in my power to humbly help them as long as it takes.

David felt that his soul was in prison. Oh how I know that horrible feeling all too well. ...

Is Your Soul In Prison Dear Friend?

Psalms 142:7, “Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.”

People sometimes errantly think that the least thing we can do for others is to pray for them. No dear friend, to pray for another human being is the MOST greatest thing you can do for them. Colossians 1:9, “For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;” You're never wasting your time when you pray! God answers prayer. One way or another, we are never wasting our time when we pray to God.

Dwight Moody As A Youth Had A Dark Mind His Sunday School Teacher Said

There was a child, born into a large family. Tragically, his father died when he was just four years old, leaving his mother to tend for him, his six brothers and his two sisters. When he was 17, he attended a church, as part of the conditions of his employment at his uncle's shoe store. After several months of attending this church, he converted to Christianity, when his Sunday school teacher told him about how much God loves him. That child was none other than the famous preacher, Dwight L. Moody (1837-1899).

Here is what his Sunday school teacher Mr. Edward Kimball (1823-1901) had to say of him:

“I can truly say, and in saying it I magnify the infinite grace of God as bestowed upon him, that I have seen few persons whose minds were spiritually darker than was his when he came into my Sunday School class; and I think that the committee of the Mount Vernon Church seldom met an applicant for membership more unlikely ever to become a Christian of clear and decided views of Gospel truth, still less to fill any extended sphere of public usefulness.” SOURCE

The young man Dwight Moody had a mind which was “spiritually darker” than almost any that his Sunday school teacher had seen. A month after being saved, he was rejected for church membership (just like Harvest Baptist Church on Guam shamefully rejected me). Moody would be saved for 13 months before his application for membership to a church was finally accepted. No one expected him to be someone who would receive the Gospel, let alone being of service in the local community. Never judge a book by its cover!

God will use anybody if they are yielded to Him! Samson was a crooked stick, but God will still use a crooked stick if it is yielded to Him. We are all crooked sticks in the mud; that is, we are all sinners who fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).

I have struggled with depression most of my adult life. Pastor Charles Spurgeon often suffered from depression. Mr. Spurgeon's wife was an invalid for over 20 years, bedridden. That dear man suffered! My mother suffered a crippling stroke in 1989. She never walked again and spent the rest of her life in a wheelchair. She went to heaven on August 20th, 2001 (several months after my hero of the faith, Pastor Jack Hyles, went to Heaven in February).

We all have an appointment with death (Hebrews 9:27). You may die healthy, as did Dr. Robert Atkins (1930-2003), but you will die. Dr. Atkins slipped on an icy sidewalk in New York, hit his head and died. Go figure! Pastor Lester Roloff (1914-1982) was a health guru. If he hadn't died in a plan crash, Brother Roloff would probably still be alive...lol. 

Dear reader, even great men of God have family problems. I was saddened to learn that Billy Sunday's three sons were all unsaved infidels. Their father himself said that. George Sunday, Billy and Helen Sunday's oldest son, was arrested for public intoxication and stealing a vehicle. Shortly thereafter in 1933 George commit suicide. His father died 2 years later in 1935. I can only try to imagine the pain of soul which Billy Sunday suffered during the last years of his life. Sunday saw all his decades of hard preaching against the liquor traffic undone in a single vote on Capital Hill in 1933. The Prohibition Era (1920-1933) ended, plunging our nation into the depths of Satan. Since that fateful decision tens of millions of Americans have been murdered by drunk drivers, drunken husband, drunken coworkers and drunken neighbors. Woe unto America!!! Booze is LIQUID DEVIL!!!

Oh how the Devil pays with counterfeit money! Satan is a beautiful liar. The Devil always takes you farther than you intended to go, costs you more than you wanted to pay, and keeps you longer than you planned to stay!!! Sin always thrills and then it kills. Sin always fascinates and then it assassinates. The Devil is a liar and the father of all liars (John 8:44).

John Bunyan is one of my favorite Baptist preachers. I love this quote by Bunyan:

“If you do not put a difference between justification wrought by the man Christ without and sanctification wrought by the Spirit of Christ within, you are not able to divide the Word aright; but contrariwise, you corrupt the Word of God, and cast stumbling blocks before the people.” —Evangelist John Bunyan (1628-1688)

So be encouraged dear friend if you have experienced the same type of temptations with sin and blasphemous thoughts. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a sinner. We all struggle with these things. When I used to brush my teeth and spit into the sink, I had blasphemous thoughts of spitting on God. I don't know why. I think it because I read in the Bible that the soldiers spit on Jesus (Mark 14:65). So what I have done for years now is every time I spit, I say to God: “Excuse me Lord.” I do that to show respect for my God and Savior.

God knows if you love Him friend. Many years ago, while Dr. John R. Rice (1895-1980) was still alive on earth, he underwent surgery. When he awoke from anesthesia, he asked the nurses and doctors the question: “Did I say anything to dishonor my Lord?” Amen. That is all we can do is guard our soul. That is why my favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

As I mentioned, I have received countless emails over the years from believers who struggle with blasphemous thoughts, sinful temptation, negativity and depression. The answer is very simple friend. What saith the Scripture? ...

Ephesians 4:21-24, “If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.”

Romans 12:1-2, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Philippians 4:8-9, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.” 

I guarantee you that if all you do is watch television, hang around negative people, read secular magazines, watch the mainstream newsmedia, read the newspaper and sit around watching professional sports—your mind will be a garbage pail. At very least, your mind will be a spiritual vacuum devoid of THE TRUTH. Wherever I go I have joy in my soul and God's shine on my face. Do you know why? It is because I spend most of my time wallowing in THE TRUTH, humbly walking with God, contending for the Biblical faith.

I admit that I am not a happy person. I am lonely without a wife. Nobody wanted me that I offered to marry. I suffer in neck and bodily pain all the time. My closest friends are on the internet, those with whom we share a common love for THE TRUTH. When I went to Campus Church at Pensacola Christian College for the summer of 2021, Pastor Jeff Redlin didn't want to be my friend. Instead he slandered me and my ministry, falsely accusing me of finding “weakness” in preachers. The Bible calls what I am doing contending for the faith once delivered unto the saints (Jude 1:3). SHAME on Jeff Redlin for his sinful cowardice, compromise and bidding Godspeed to the accursed Calvinist Bob Jones University camp. Folks, RIGHT DOCTRINE MATTERS!!! Making money is not the most important thing, but it sadly is at Pensacola Christian College and Campus Church (Luke 16:13).

Dear reader, if you are struggling with any of the aforementioned issues, the solution is to bathe your soul with the inspired King James Bible. Burn those Devil's modern Bibles, because they will corrupt your soul. God only authored ONE BOOK, not hundreds of English Bibles. God is not the Author of confusion, Satan is (1st Corinthians 14:33). Psalms 119:105 teaches that God's Word is a LAMP unto our feet, to guide our steps. Psalms 119:105, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Let me teach you a wonderful truth dear friend. Proverbs 3:5-6 promises that God will direct our PATHS if we will acknowledge Him in all our ways. What does that mean? It means that if you will use the LAMP of God's Word to light your STEPS, then God will direct your PATHS. We acknowledge God in all our ways by using the LAMP of God's Word to light our steps. Before you make any decisions, “SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES” (John 5:39a). 

• When you are confused, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are lonely, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are angry, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are tired, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are scared, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are tempted, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are frustrated, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are confounded, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are betrayed, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are worried, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are upset, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are happy, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are at peace, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are safe, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are confident, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are horrified, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are sad, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are perplexed, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!
• When you are curious, SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!

SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!

SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!

SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!

SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!